on letting go of an addiction.

I didn't think this day would come. After our conversation last week, I was pretty sure that was it and I had accepted it and I was okay. I really truly was. I didn't know if I should respond or not, and at first I didn't because I didn't want to open wounds that were well on their way to healing. But alas, I am an addict.
To his:

I've felt very remorseful about our talk last week. Truth be told I
miss your compassion, your pretty face, and your advice and support.
I'm open to any possibility of a friendship I just can't accept any
guilt or drama about the past. I still don't understand why you didn't
begin trying to heal yourself 4 months ago when you went to Italy, you
must have known I was trying my hardest to forgive and forget. Call or
write if you need to talk, I'll answer.

take care

Like what could we possibly have to talk about? It's highly unlikely that we will ever be "friends" and I'm sure we are both aware of this. I explained why I didn't heal in Italy (because I was half way around the world WORKING and trying to adjust to a NEW way of life) and that I wasn't expecting this to be so difficult when I returned. Like, I don't miss him per se, but I do miss the companionship. But I also find that the longer I'm here, the less lonely I get.
Anyway, I'm having brunch on saturday with one of my favorite girlfriends who went through something similar, so we'll have lots to talk about and i'm sure I'll gain more perspective.
I also know I have to break myself from this pattern with him. Luckily, he is fully aware of it too.
I just want to let go.